Shhhh

Hay I have been waiting to hear the story for winning the money game. But then I realized he said it all. SILENCE!!!!

30 weeks ago

It was the tenth of January a cold winters night. The clouds covered the moon and the only sign of light came from the street lamps. But in a dark parking lot a man steps out of his car. He reaches into his car and grabs a well used bag and a wrinkled blue shirt. With the skill of a drunk opening another beer he slowly slides his arms through the shirts sleeves. Then fumbles with the buttons like a excited high school boy unlatching his first bra. He then reaches over into his car as the rain starts to fall. Grabs a bottle of coke and a funny flask and mixes his favorite drink of choice. Then looks up at the sky as if to celebrate the cold rain on his face. At that moment a lightning bolt flashes at him, but he jumps to avoid the lightning. In that same moment he round houses the door to the car shut with precision and accuracy. When he lands and in the lights while the sparks are still falling you can see the Norris 6 logo on the back of his now Ironed shirt. He pauses for a moment then again looks up to the skies as if he is playing a game with Zeus. Under his beard you can see him crack a small smile that slowly gets bigger, and then turns into laughter. With a thunderous crack several lightning bolts fall to the ground and shatter the laughter of the old man. But around him after the smoke has cleared eight more men in blue Norris 6 shirts appear. This is the beginning of the legend and how the team Norris 6 appeared. For thirty weeks now you could have seen team Norris 6 on any Monday night. They have fought such evil beasts as the dreaded Munson or the dirty Red box. Yes there has been lows like Hi Balls 70. There has also been a great fight to see who can hold the title of most pins down. Starting with Redlines 236, Tortoise 264, D-Bo's 265, and back with Redlines 268. There has been additions to the elite 600 club congrats Tortoise, D-B0, and Lunch Money. It is no surprise that when the Norris 6 comes into the alley they pack such weapons as the turkey, four baggers, five spots, and more. With a record high nine strikes per game held by three of the team members you better watch out. But you should not be surprised this season to have seen a new weapon called the dash & slash that has been perfected by the Professor X. There has been two closed games and a perfect 300 destroyed by a footfoul. But with the season all most over only two weeks remain and one tournament, there is still one stat in question. The most important of them all. Some would say stats mean nothing if you don't have that championship ring. There are three left that are still in contention for the title of the money game leader. Can lunch money be the dark horse and force a three way tie going into the final tournament. He has been on a hot streak the last two weeks ever since turkey was on the menu. The Redline was clutch last night and took the money game by two pins to push a two way tie for the number one seed. Can he continue his streak of wins to finish off the season. Or will the Tortoise pick up the pace and seal the deal before the tournament to hold his title of money game champion. You all better be there to find out the outcome. Or you will just have to read a stupid email like this to know what happened. By the way she stitched her????? Are you kidding me.

30 weeks ago

It was the tenth of January a cold winters night. The clouds covered the moon and the only sign of light came from the street lamps. But in a dark parking lot a man steps out of his car. He reaches into his car and grabs a well used bag and a wrinkled blue shirt. With the skill of a drunk opening another beer he slowly slides his arms through the shirts sleeves. Then fumbles with the buttons like a excited high school boy unlatching his first bra. He then reaches over into his car as the rain starts to fall. Grabs a bottle of coke and a funny flask and mixes his favorite drink of choice. Then looks up at the sky as if to celebrate the cold rain on his face. At that moment a lightning bolt flashes at him, but he jumps to avoid the lightning. In that same moment he round houses the door to the car shut with precision and accuracy. When he lands and in the lights while the sparks are still falling you can see the Norris 6 logo on the back of his now Ironed shirt. He pauses for a moment then again looks up to the skies as if he is playing a game with Zeus. Under his beard you can see him crack a small smile that slowly gets bigger, and then turns into laughter. With a thunderous crack several lightning bolts fall to the ground and shatter the laughter of the old man. But around him after the smoke has cleared eight more men in blue Norris 6 shirts appear. This is the beginning of the legend and how the team Norris 6 appeared. For thirty weeks now you could have seen team Norris 6 on any Monday night. They have fought such evil beasts as the dreaded Munson or the dirty Red box. Yes there has been lows like Hi Balls 70. There has also been a great fight to see who can hold the title of most pins down. Starting with Redlines 236, Tortoise 264, D-Bo's 265, and back with Redlines 268. There has been additions to the elite 600 club congrats Tortoise, D-B0, and Lunch Money. It is no surprise that when the Norris 6 comes into the alley they pack such weapons as the turkey, four baggers, five spots, and more. With a record high nine strikes per game held by three of the team members you better watch out. But you should not be surprised this season to have seen a new weapon called the dash & slash that has been perfected by the Professor X. There has been two closed games and a perfect 300 destroyed by a footfoul. But with the season all most over only two weeks remain and one tournament, there is still one stat in question. The most important of them all. Some would say stats mean nothing if you don't have that championship ring. There are three left that are still in contention for the title of the money game leader. Can lunch money be the dark horse and force a three way tie going into the final tournament. He has been on a hot streak the last two weeks ever since turkey was on the menu. The Redline was clutch last night and took the money game by two pins to push a two way tie for the number one seed. Can he continue his streak of wins to finish off the season. Or will the Tortoise pick up the pace and seal the deal before the tournament to hold his title of money game champion. You all better be there to find out the outcome. Or you will just have to read a stupid email like this to know what happened. By the way she stitched her????? Are you kidding me.

8.4.08 Bowling

I have no Hare, therefore I am the Tortoise

I don’t know if it was me going bald that slowed me down or if it was me going slow that mowed me down. In any event, it is a chicken and egg story and in reality the deeper you go into philosophy the farther you get from bowling. I mean sure there is a certain Zen to achieving excellence on the lanes, but keeping it simple with a positive thought process usually is plenty good enough to win the day.

Throw Ball, Pins go Boom.

And it seems the X-less Turkey 4 Lunch (AKA Lunch Money) had all the X’s he needed all night long as he recorded his first 600 series, and became the 3rd member of that club in the Norris 6..

Sure there was a lot more going on than that: Josh and Katee, Professor X and his Joba this Joba that, and his Lebron and Kobe said they’ll be up this and that (which once again put on display his uncanny prognostication skills), there was 6” to the right, name changes that confused the hell out of some people (I won’t mention names), free bowling, an extra rich money game, desert island music talk, and of course “Nobody puts Baby in the corner!!!”

But in the end, it was once again slow and steady that won the race, as people threw up turkeys like they were rotten, the old Blue X (Who???) went with the “you bowl what you eat” theory and served up BBQ spare ribs all night long and snuck into the 10th frame with a shot at the Turkey eater it came down to a confusing final ball with the bucket (2-4-5 for Righties) left to pick up. The Tortoise could hear comments of “he’s already got it” and “nope, he still needs to pick it up” and with the big money on the line, no idea what he needed to pick up the win, and all of the five exclamation (!!!!!) excitement going on. He missed the 2 pin six-inches to the right…..

…… but he knicked the 5-pin which was all he needed to sneak out with the 1-pin win.

He was later heard to say “thank god I didn’t use 6 exclamations!!!!!!”

Records were ment to be broken

So the saying goes: “Records are meant to be broken” and the Norris 6 continues to prove it, seemingly every week. But as someone stands up to the challenge, someone else will be baffled by this game, cover themselves in latex and dive into red box all night long. Great game to the Red Line who is now the new holder of the “Highest Game” with a magnificent 268, his trophy is 12 feet tall, it’s glorious! Although the final frame was left open, 9 strikes, and 1 F’ing Slash is very impressive…Toot Toot for the Red Line!! The Tortise was in a slump all night long, struggling to negotiate with the pins, leaving split after split, after single pin, hurting the average, but helping the handicap. Only 1 strike for the Tortise in 1 of the games pushed him close to losing the “No Munson” stat, but he did prevail making him, still, the last one who can say that he’s never thrown a Munson. The Longs workin’, individual product unwrapping, Jelly– D made an appearance last night as well…GREAT TO SEE YOU OUT Jelly- D. He threw his usual devastating ball, but the pins were flying away from each other instead of into each other, making for a rough Money game for the Jell-D who fell just short of the 100 point mark. Prof XYZlyphone was in every game it seemed, but just couldn’t hit right notes in the right order, and Devin Bow came with a non devil approach, relying upon the Jack to make everything alright, which worked great in his head, but not so well on the scoreboard. Then, the Lunch money, somehow, someway, steals the money game by stringing a few strikes together and just breaking 200…but still manages to lose the team game, well done. All and all, another great night at the lanes!
Peace OOUUTTTT!

Moment of Silence

No Red Line, no bowling.

The Monday Night Mega-Bowl!..

The Monday Night Mega-Bowl!!..THE MONDAY NIGHT MEGA-BOWL!!!.... One Night Only!... Last Monday!...The Trophy is twelve feet tall,.... I've seen it!To some it is just another the beginning of the daily grind that is a consumer's life. To the fortunate, Monday is a not just a day. To those it is Mon-night. A time to tests the bounds of our own ability in throwing balls at pins while consuming our preferred poison and having an all-around great time, as friends should.For one faithful soul the planets aligned, the seas parted and the volcanoes quieted. With two frames left and the game on the line, I found peace. Peace and confidence,....and then victory.But alas, what is victory in the continual flow of events. Do we not learn better from our mistakes? Does victory elevate us to a point where one does not need to learn? Devil's Rainbow"A mind troubled by doubt cannot focus on the course to victory" ~Authur Golden

MNB

It was a hot and smoky night on the town, when 4 lone Norris’ walked into the bowling alley. There was a sense of urgency amongst them as they were down a couple of Norris’ but at the end of the day, what are you going to do, men need to be men, and we are Chucks.

And so it was, when D-Bo decided to be the Alpha Chuck and went big time X crazy with a 265 in the first game laying down the gauntlet of scoring supremacy, which led to the Tortoise setting his goal for the next game at 266 which was bumped down to about 230 after 2 frames and ended up sub 200 a couple of frames later. However, the best quote of the night was after the historic 265 and Redline, Lunch, and Tort bowling UNDER their averages, R-line says, “Good job, D-Bo”, to which the Devils Rainbow enthusiastically responded, “Good job, everybody!”

FOOTNOTE: Tortoise won the money game at 190

Short & Sweet

I was told since I had to keep it short because of the lack of people.

So here it goes.

Jail
Jiggly wiggilies
On the nipple
Side bets every game
What is a lucky penny
Watch out that's more jail bait
Boy do I love to sing SUMMERTIME
I think they put turkey lard out there
I am not scared of that ten pin anymore
Red Line sweeps all three and thanks Lady Tortoise for the luck.

From Zero to Hero

I'm not a natural born leader.

Since my birth my father has tried to do otherwise though. After my brother failed my father (in my father's eyes only), he turned to me in my youth to extract the same qualities that constitutes a leader of men. I was taught how to create, build, and care for all the plants, trees, and animals on our large ranch. Bu he also taught me how to hunt, trap, and ultimately, kill. I excelled, to his happiness, at many things, but I excelled at two things, Husbandry (which is animal care, not what most of you guys are doing now) and Marksmanship. I excelled in all things guns for a while in my young life, till I found that I was expected to kill animals for fun with them, like a lot of men on my father's side did. At any rate, through all the wilderness survival, gun work, and animal care my father stressed one thing.

Focus.

I am starting to wonder if I have actually focused throughly through out a full set of frames. I know cleaning up a tenth frame with a turkey is not foreign to me, but last night in the last game I found my zone. It was in between the Tom Collins and the training from my father.

I focused last night, simple as that. But other factors were influential as well. Some of these are comical, some are serious. I'll let you make up your own mind which are which.

First off, The Tortoise had already done it. The veil of mystery had been pierced, the path had been blazed. Even if The Tortoise didn't show us exactly how it was done, he at least showed us that it COULD be done. That is enough for me most of the time. Like I said before, I am not much of a leader, but I'm one hell of a follower.

Secondly, There were no beautiful women around. That's a weak one for me. Nothing shatters my focus more, hell my thought process, than connecting eyes with a lovely young woman. (and I stress woman, at least I hope in all cases) No matter the reaction, good or bad, that connection for that split second makes me think of other things besides bowling. Which inevitably messes with my tempo and social rhythm. Even if I refrain from looking, I disrupt my Zen by having to spend energy and focus trying NOT to look.

I've been working on this lately, this weakness. I've considered improving my focus, meditating on either keeping distractions like beautiful women outside my attention, or possibly even heroically overcoming the petty problem, to look beautiful women in they eyes, and to come away with some secret knowledge, some inner confidence that would allow me to throw with unparalleled skill and ability.

I went with a third option though. I raised my standards. Simple really, works too. Enough said.The third reason was that I was in a very comfortable atmosphere. The gang was jovial, the liquor was plentiful, life was good. We were right back on those two infamous lanes, lanes three and four, which The Tortoise had so supernaturally threw his first closed game a week prior. So comfortable was I that I did not realize what was going on till about the fifth or sixth frame, and I honestly didn't start sweating till the about the eighth frame.

The Closed 242 was certainly a highlight in my bowling non-profit career. It was a hell of a lot of fun too. I'm just glad to get my first money game win.

I wonder what's next in store.

The Night That Was

My priority is drinking, so I don't like to talk much about bowling. But it's been a little difficult to avoid the topic lately.

I have had good streaks before, but none like the one I had last night. It was incredible. To quote the summary put out by UABA when I was named Money game winner of the night: 3 Games, 629 pins 21 strikes, with two games of 9 strikes and a new career high of 249 followed by a 264.I wish I could explain why a bowler catches fire at the lanes. You just do. You see the pins better. It's hard to put into words because, obviously, your eyesight doesn't suddenly get better. Maybe something shifts in your brain that allows you -- for some limited time -- to be hyper-focused. I don't know. All I know is that my eyes seem to pick the target up right before it left my hand.

And here's Part II of being on a good streak: When your turn reaches you, you know exactly what to do with it. I always have a plan for every ball, which depends on how much I’ve had to drink, what the game situation is, etc. So that's the same whether you're on a good streak or a bad one. But when you're going good, you execute your plan almost every time. You get the ball you're looking for. You throw it just the way you want. And of course, success breeds confidence. So when you're going good, you relax. You don't press. You don't go trying to throw it through the back of the wall when all you need is to put it in the right spot. You go up to the lane truly believing that no pin can stay on its feet. I know, too, that part of any really great streak has some element of luck. I got a lot of Brooklyn’s. They weren't setting the pins down with one missing and the Bowling Gods weren't striking me down either. I had the opportunities to come through and they keep falling. It helped that Lunch Money bought me a Capt & Coke. I love that drink. It's the drink of my childhood. Some people have asked if I had any superstitions about how to keep the streak going -- like not changing my socks or taking advice from a particular coach and since I heavily believe in superstitions, I worried when my drink ran out, I tried to toe tap a little bit more, I kept checking out the same girls, I touched the blower fan in the same place and I touched myself in the same place. So, I turned into an OCD freak. We're up against the Mets tonight and looking to have another exciting win like yesterdays. I'm still feeling invincible at my desk, although a touch hung-over. I still feel that no pin can stand straight up. Even when they do stand up, I know I'm throwing well and that pin was a lucky son of a gun.That's it for now. I enjoy answering your questions, so don't hesitate to write me. I'll answer them in a future entry. As always, thanks for reading and for supporting my teammates and me. We love seeing you out at the bowling lane.



Okay so all of this was stolen from Bengie Molina’s Blog Behind the Mask on http://www.sfgiants.com/ I just changed a few words to protect the innocent J

UABA cup

Bob: Well hello all and welcome to the third annual UABA cup. We have a might clash of the top two American teams. This is the first time in history it has been a all American final.With Pool boy sitting the bench after a bad chlorine accident, the Reds are really hurt in the back field with out him.
Jim: However, a unique side note Hi Ball has chosen to sit this one out for the blues. Being a cross over athlete in both bowling and the carnival hot dog eating contest he has finally worn down.
Bob : Lets get real he is as high as Deion Sanders and he is on the toilet right now trying to get rid of the forty eight hot dogs he ate last night.
Jim: With D Bow leading the Blues, and Lunch Money leading the reds this is going to be the greatest match in history. The game time whistle has blown and ball is on the move.
Bob: Lunch money starts the game with great shot, testing the pins and knocks them down. The tortoise is up next and he delivers a fast ball with a little too much paste and splits the pins. In the end its D Bow using his head and strikes first to get a 182 for the first round.
Jim: The second half is starting off much like the first. The Tortoise still has not found his stroke.
Bob: I beg to differ with you Jim I see him over there looking at the white girl with back practicing his stroke.
Jim: Yes Bob that's bound to throw off anyone's game.
Bob: Well it might be his blue balls that's throwing off his game Jim.
Jim: But it looks like Lunch Money will slot it home and bring the reds back into it with a 178. Bob: Looks like we have some over time in store for us. Jim: Wow there has never been a final like this. The game play is all over it looks like its coming in waves for both sides but neither side knows what to do.
Jim: Wow what is this, the nutty Professor XXX has just made a call into the arena. It looks like he is not going to make it the Assassin has him pined down with cross fire.
Bob: Right Jim once again I bet if he used his left hand he might be able to get his chi chis out of his women's purse. Then he would be here to support his team. With out his extra points the blues will never win.
Jim: Well lets get this extra time started. Lunch money starts it off with ahhh a nine pin nock down.
Bob: Hay what's this Red Line is sneaking up behind the Tortoise and hits the rerack. Ahh man its 7:30 I should have know some dirty play was about to happen. Well we are going to have to give him the spare because he would have picked that dirty 10 pin up.
Jim: Does not matter though looks like the tortoise and D bow might have found there stroke. Its a three way race down to the 119 minute. D Bow with a short lead, followed by Red Line and the Tortoise bringing up the rear.
Bob: Oh no D Bow leaves it open, and look at this Red Line and the Tortoise get big Red Xs. D Bow still has a chance. What is this racking problems on Lunch Money's side again? Just give him a spare. D Bow is up and has a chance to win the match. OH no he throws it right into the gutter.
Jim: OH wow I bet he would like a bowlagan after that one.
Bob: With racking problems on the Red Lines side the Tortoise will get to go first for the win. Jim: The Tortoise throws but ohh can only bring home a spare.
Bob: Red Line has the opertunity to win it for the mighty Reds and put down a record first hat trick in the UABA cup. Boom a strike and you can put that money in the bank. Red Line seals the deal.

Somebody better beat me or you guys are going to keep getting these long emails on Tuesdays.

Poet & You Know It

It was looking Rather hopeful for our Mudville team that day:
We were leading Norris 6 four to two with an inning left to play.
We got High Ball on a grounder and Devils Rainbow on the same,
Some would say they were a no show on this day.
Two down, none on, top of the ninth - we thought we'd won the game.

Norris 6 was despairing, and we grinned and cheered and clapped.
It looked like after all these years our losing streak had snapped.
And we only wished that Cubin B. the little skinny ugly lout,
Could be the Patsy who would make the final, shameful out.

Oh how we hated Cubin B, He was a blot upon the game.
Every dog in Sacramento barked at the mention of his name.
A bully and a braggart, a cretin and swine-
If Cubin B came to bat, We'd stick it where the moon don't shine!

Two out and up came Pool Boy to bat, with Lunch Money on deck,
And the former was a loser and the latter was a wreck:
Though the game was in the bag, The Mudville fans were hurt
To think that Cubin B would not come and get his just dessert.

But Pool Boy got a single, a most unlikely sight,
And Lunch Money swung like a lady but he parked it deep to right,
And when the dust had lifted, and fuckle fate had beckoned,
There was Pool Boy on third base and Lunch Money safe at second.

Then from the Silencer and Professor XXX throat, there rose a lusty cry:
"Bring up the slimy greaseball and let him stand and die.
Throw the mighty slider and let him hear it whiz
And let him hit a pop - up like the pansy that he is"

There was pride in Cubin B visage as he strode on the grass,
There was scorn in his demeanor as he calmly scratched his A$$
Ten thousand people booed him when he stepped into the box,
And they made the sound of farting when he bent to fix his socks.

The Tortoise's fable slider came spinning toward the mitt,
And Cubin B watched it sliding and he did not go for it.
And the umpire jerked his arm like he was hauling down the sun,
And his cry rang from the box seats to the bleachers: Stee-rike One!

The Silencer and Professor XXX raised such a mighty cheer,
The pigeons in the rafters crapped and ruined all the beer.
"You filthy ignorant rotten bastard slimy son of a beatch,"
We screamed at mighty Cubin B, and then came the second pitch.

It was are Hero's Tortoise's fastball, it came across the plate,
and according to the radar, it was going at least 8mph
And according to the umpire, it came in straight and true,
and the cry rang from the toilets to the bullpen: Stee-rike two.

Then the Mudville pitcher stood majestic on the hill
And Leaned in toward the plate, and then the crowed was still
And he went into his windup, and he kicked, and let it go,
and then the air was shattered by the force of Cubin B's blow.

He swung so hard his hair fell off and he toppled in disgrace
And the Professor XXX the Mudville's catcher looked in his glove.
With Cubin B's prostrate in the dirt he realized he put that one over the fence.
We threw wieners down at Cubin B, but that could not wipe off the smile on his face.

With Cubin B winning two in a row
The Professor XXX and the Silencer out to know
When their Tortoise throws the ball
The Norris 6 will always use a round house kick to win the show.

I see RED

The Norris 6 early on Monday sent out the calling for all the members. The chatter seemed quite not even peep from the tortoise. Late in the day though there was a promise of a late show by poolboy, but only if he won the championship. In a bar far away you could even hear the High Ball stirring on his bar stool promising a show. But in a drunken slumber High Ball realized he missed mothers day ( opps I mean he had a dinner date and too much wine ) and decided he could not go. After a visit at home from a stranger named Mel I found out the Tortoise was at home with the flue for the night. With her blessing and the kind words of " hay Red Line since the tortoise will not be there you can win the money game tonight" she left with a smile. Ouch! But I knew her blessing was a gift from the gods for with the shape of her belly, I thought she had swallowed the tortoise's ball. So with no fear I put the Norris 6 patch on my back and walked into the sunset to claim my prize. When the mighty Red Line came walking to the lane I noticed a familiar face of old. A deadly assassin named the Silencer was sitting with just a grin and a glass of gin Lunch money could feel the pressure early in the night with the league bowlers fighting next to us. After a group decision we decided the Norris 6 could fix the problem with a big round house. The first game started off with a bang the Red Line tasting a hambone to start the night. Wait what a surprise the Silence of the assassin got himself a hambone and a turkey in his first game. In the end the Red Line closed out with a turkey and got a big 212. The second game the professor picked it up and got him self a turkey of his own. With the silencer still throwing hambones starting in the 4th frame. The Professor took the sandwich game and was given a quarter for the win. After a quick smoke break by the professor and the silencer then a run to the car for the rest of the Norris 6 money was put out on the table. From the start to the finish Red Line was throwing the heat. The silencer tried his hardest to get the ball rolling again in the 4th frame but fell a strike short of the hambone. Especialy when the mention of him having children was brought up, looked like the twin towers collapsing again. Professor was also trying to bring it but could not hold on with the pressure. Lunch money well he is still paying the price for a 232 last week. All I can say is the Ipod was on, then off, then back on the whole night. I think I even saw him make a quick run to the liquor store for some mixers to put into his briefcase, but the damage was all ready done. The Red Line picked up three new passengers and took them to Brooklyn College for a class with a 226. The professor got a discounted ticket for being a assistant and only had to pay a buck, but the rest went home with empty pockets. By the way looks like we have a new hooker in the crew.

Juego de Bolos

Hola! Wait, Cinco de Mayo is over, I can start talking like a true Californian again.....

One for the record books last night on both ends of the spectrum. With Lunch Moula and his fold out margarita bar, complete with shaker and salt, it was on. First game showed some promise as High Pelota led the way with a 173, more on his night later, and the low was a respectable 145. Second game was more about shop talk and what Los Tore Tise Amos will name the baby girl. Five middle names? Really? Mr. Moula then opened the Juego de Dinero with a nice four bagger, Professor Dos XX dropped a -- early on and Rojo Line picked up a ton of 7s & 10s foot fouling all night long. LM followed his four with a 9- and then X X X. Spared the 9th and tenth frame, X8/. For a record tying 8 strikes, and the second best score ever at 234. High Pelota? He stunk it up like a PX fart. A Double Munson, no strike, no spare, 70! Needless to say Cinco de Mayo was a bueno noche for the Norris Sies.

Finish in Style

The night started off with the shelled one showing us some of the slowest balls ever, and blamed it on "yard work" and "playing catch". I hear the senior tour is next. Red Line was trying to get some Red love for his Reds on the road this week. We'll see. After last weeks "flop heard round the world" PX started with a nice 173, and slid backwards from there. Lunch $$ wound the clock, and it is now Pat-end by him. D-Bow is still trying to hit that one pin, 9- 9- X 9- 8/ X X 9- X 9-. It was that kind of night for him. Red Line had a very nice score posted, and was ready to collect. But much like his jinxing email about the Reds last week, it was too soon. Pool Boy had other plans. With a few back to back strikes already on the board and one in the ninth he had a chance. Mr. sidearm straight ball got the first strike. Needing one more for the W... BAM! Another X, and victory was his. Ask the Pool Boy how to walk off in style and he will say,"With another X and a Four Bagger Money Counter!" A name he will now try to patten.

Same 'ol Song and Dance

My elbow is still a bit sore from my flying face plant ten feet down lane 17…. PX
For the record there was no FOUL, we think that he cleared the foul area and therefore was not penalized……Tort
Draft expert, The Silencer made it out for game one in 2008
Big turn out or just PX talking about getting married in some cheesy sentimental professor way? Pool Boy out

Tortise with another win....

256 Red Line?

well I guess I should tell you I bowled a 110, 256, 131 I guess you would say I blew the last game but I still won the money. Who could blame everyone for bowling so crappy after watching me blow up with 9 strikes. The pressure.

A Night of Champions

Pool Boy, I guess you just went home after your game. You missed out on what was a historic night for the Norris 6. The group was not large being only the hookers, namely Redline and D-Bo as Team “Red Bow” like a Christmas doggie and Lunch Money and Tortass (I believe the spelling was) as Team “Money Ass”, like as in, “That was some ‘money ass’ bowling right there”.
The first game started off a little slow, much like the NCAA championship, with the scores starting slow for Red, D, and Lunch and the trademark Tortoise Speed Deadliness taking full effect and going 9 frames to start closed down and a strike to start the 10th, but unable to close the spare.
The second game was fairly unremarkable, like Kansas’ early second half, with the exception of the young lady down the lane from us who bowled a ball to make the Blue Tortoise jealous and therefore proving that the bowling lane does tilt at some degree toward the pins and also a back-up screwball thrown by Lunch Money that had to be seen to be believed.
In the third game however the gauntlet was to be thrown down like a Chalmers 3 pointer from the top of the key. Records were set and confusion was amok. All bowlers had a Turkey at some point of the final game with the Devil’s Rainbow topping out with a Hip Thrusting Hambone. The Redline was the cause of all the confusion when the knocked down pins got out of whack and somehow he bowled his 10th frame in the 8th or something to that effect. Don’t ask!! In any event he ended with a very strong 210. In addition to D-Bo’s Hambone, he threw down a turkey to start the game (as did Brooklyn Brian) and combo’d the group up into a record 8 strikes in one game (with no spares, which also at the very least ties a record) and laid down a B-E-A-youtiful 212. The combo 422 gave Team Red Bow the unquestioned team game and also both men their first 200 games of 2008. In the end though, the night was for the Rock Chalk Tortoise, as the Shelled One knocked down every pin placed in front of him going into the 10th frame and again started with a strike and then picked up 9 of the ten pins on his second ball, leaving only the 3 pin standing between him and the elusive CLOSED game…..

……And there that pin still stands…… leaving the molasses like reptile at 223 for the win

Finish Strong

With the first ranking not out yet, it's hard to tell who the favorite is week to week. Lunch has two W's, Red Line is always Cho-Cho-ing, D-Bo can always post a 200+ any given game, and the Professor's accessories might actualy pay off someday. After fast paced, good scoring, warm-up games, is was cash time. PX & LM vs. RL & DB. The game within a game from last season has not materialized yet this year, until last night. Going into the ninth frame the Professor knew he needed to close out in a big way if he had any chance of catching the Lunch Money. After a 9th frame spare Professor X dropped a 10th frame turkey, and walked off in victory finally getting over the pressure and nerves to deliver in the clutch. Pool Boy where's your win???

HAPPY ST. PATTY'S DAY!

In honor of our livers, no bowling tonight.

I need stats. Stat!

The tortoise left promises of new stats this year, one the the Professor has an early lead in, and made it sound as if they might be ready for viewing soon. The night at CVL started before the 5 Chucks showed up last night. With "ohs" & 'aws" I knew something was happening on lanes 15 & 16. A new house series record was set last night breaking the old record of 850. 289, 299, 289. Yes that's right a 877 series, most excellent. As for us nothing special until the shiny $10 bill came out. IN the 8th frame everybody was still in it and the scores were up there. Professor missed a 1 pin spare in the 8th and 10th. Lunch Money dropped one in the gutter. Red Line wavered in the 10th, and the Torotise went X,X to start the 10th, finishing with a nice 202. This is win #2 for theslowonewhopromisiesstats. (Tortoises Indian name)

Off Weak

Without the historian, Professor X, all we know is Pool Boy actualy made it, Lunch Money became the first two time winner of 08, and D-Bo wore his shirt.

The Few of Us

Hi-Ball had things to do. The Devil had his nose in the.....books? Pool Boy was 20%. The Silent one was just that. The Torotise, well the Torotise went Ronnie Lott and chopped of his finger with a hacksaw(above). So PX, RL, LM & JD went one lane last night. Jelly opened with a strong 192(?). Then it was Lunch time in the Sandwich game, 212 for the man. This was followed up with a 180 money(less) game for win number one on the season for Mr. Lunch Money. Five weeks, five winners who will be the first to post W #2?

Winners Circle Sees a New Face

With a limited crew, Hi Ball showed he's capable of a Hi score. The night started off with the unvieling of Professor's Valentine's Day gift from J-Smack. Black with blue flames , adjustable slide, Goodyear rubber havin, lefty specific bowling shoes. He promtly threw one right in the gutter and struggled to break 120 i nthe first two games. It was a fast pased sloppy first two games for all last night until game 3 which started like this:
Hi Ball-X
Prof X-X
Red Line-X
Torotise-X
Hi Ball-X
Prof X-X
Red Line-X
Torotise-X
Hi Ball-X
Prof X-7-
With the streak over Hi Ball maintained his straight and Hi game running away with the $$, individule and team game setting a carrer Hi of 191. The Circle of Champions has gained another Norris. Where there once was 6, now there is 7.

Professor Takes a Day Off

How is it that Brian knows how to spell “Loser” and Greg does not? As for the bowling, Jer was the runaway winner and Patrick finished second and they were on the same team so with 4 of us you can guess who won the team game as well. We didn’t start Bowling until about 10:30p due to the packed crowds and Jer ate 2 meals and Pat made 2 trips to Wendy’s in that time. There was the typical lecherous behavior of us disgusting old men violating little girls with our vision and thoughts. B brought a Lego robot that can move in any direction and among many things that it did, it had a “little of the Captain in it” and it also humped a vibrator. My contribution was that since Brian was wearing his German soccer shirt I shouted German names at him all night, among them: Baron Von Schleeper (after picking up a sleeper spare), Jurgen Dirtywhore, my personal favorite Dirk Hasselhoff, and several (blank) Von Schienlienstienman’s type names that got more and more slurred as the night went on. Happy Hump day gentlemen

By Peter Czerkies

Opening Night 2008

With many foot fouls and a five man crowd 2008 got off to a slow start. Hi Ball posted some impresive numbers, and it was good to see the Jelly D back on the lanes. Foot fouls werer the theme of the night, and Pool Boy wasn't even there! With a whopping $10 money game to start, the Red Line turned green and "Toot! Toot! was heard across the lanes.

(Printer broken, no scores)

2008 Kickoff Tournament Results

Round 1
4 Lunch Money 142
5 Professor X 113

3 Red Line 96
6 Hi Ball 165

2 Devils Rainbow 116
7 The Silencer 96

1 Tortoise 119

Round 2
1 Torotise 157
4 Lunch Money 125

6 Hi Ball 131
2 Devils Rainbow 172

3 Red Line 97
7 The Silencer 86

5 Professor X 158

Championship

1 Tortise 204
2 Devils Rainbow 177

3 Red Line 160
4 Lunch Money 148
5Professor X 138
7 The Silencer 146
6 Hi Ball 106

Founding Members and Roles

Professor X-Web Master
Red Line-Coordinator
Tortoise-Treasure
Lunch Money-DJ
Devil's Rainbow-Education
Hi Ball-Physical Education
The Silencer-Communication
Jelly D-Catering
Pool Boy-Family Matters

2008 Preview

Here is a link to the 2008 preview and a look back at 2007.
http://spreadsheets.google.com/pub?key=py1whRZedyUP1IVblwRC8PA