UABA cup

Bob: Well hello all and welcome to the third annual UABA cup. We have a might clash of the top two American teams. This is the first time in history it has been a all American final.With Pool boy sitting the bench after a bad chlorine accident, the Reds are really hurt in the back field with out him.
Jim: However, a unique side note Hi Ball has chosen to sit this one out for the blues. Being a cross over athlete in both bowling and the carnival hot dog eating contest he has finally worn down.
Bob : Lets get real he is as high as Deion Sanders and he is on the toilet right now trying to get rid of the forty eight hot dogs he ate last night.
Jim: With D Bow leading the Blues, and Lunch Money leading the reds this is going to be the greatest match in history. The game time whistle has blown and ball is on the move.
Bob: Lunch money starts the game with great shot, testing the pins and knocks them down. The tortoise is up next and he delivers a fast ball with a little too much paste and splits the pins. In the end its D Bow using his head and strikes first to get a 182 for the first round.
Jim: The second half is starting off much like the first. The Tortoise still has not found his stroke.
Bob: I beg to differ with you Jim I see him over there looking at the white girl with back practicing his stroke.
Jim: Yes Bob that's bound to throw off anyone's game.
Bob: Well it might be his blue balls that's throwing off his game Jim.
Jim: But it looks like Lunch Money will slot it home and bring the reds back into it with a 178. Bob: Looks like we have some over time in store for us. Jim: Wow there has never been a final like this. The game play is all over it looks like its coming in waves for both sides but neither side knows what to do.
Jim: Wow what is this, the nutty Professor XXX has just made a call into the arena. It looks like he is not going to make it the Assassin has him pined down with cross fire.
Bob: Right Jim once again I bet if he used his left hand he might be able to get his chi chis out of his women's purse. Then he would be here to support his team. With out his extra points the blues will never win.
Jim: Well lets get this extra time started. Lunch money starts it off with ahhh a nine pin nock down.
Bob: Hay what's this Red Line is sneaking up behind the Tortoise and hits the rerack. Ahh man its 7:30 I should have know some dirty play was about to happen. Well we are going to have to give him the spare because he would have picked that dirty 10 pin up.
Jim: Does not matter though looks like the tortoise and D bow might have found there stroke. Its a three way race down to the 119 minute. D Bow with a short lead, followed by Red Line and the Tortoise bringing up the rear.
Bob: Oh no D Bow leaves it open, and look at this Red Line and the Tortoise get big Red Xs. D Bow still has a chance. What is this racking problems on Lunch Money's side again? Just give him a spare. D Bow is up and has a chance to win the match. OH no he throws it right into the gutter.
Jim: OH wow I bet he would like a bowlagan after that one.
Bob: With racking problems on the Red Lines side the Tortoise will get to go first for the win. Jim: The Tortoise throws but ohh can only bring home a spare.
Bob: Red Line has the opertunity to win it for the mighty Reds and put down a record first hat trick in the UABA cup. Boom a strike and you can put that money in the bank. Red Line seals the deal.

Somebody better beat me or you guys are going to keep getting these long emails on Tuesdays.